When the Holidays Hurt: Why This Season Feels Heavy
The holidays are supposed to be “the happiest time of the year,” right?
LISTEN NOW
At least that’s the message in every commercial, movie, and Instagram post.
But for a lot of people, this season brings up something very different: a quiet heaviness that’s hard to explain.
Some feel lonely, you feel like you have no family or close friends to spend time with.
Some feel overwhelmed, all of the family is coming together, too many events piling up your calendar.
Some feel both, depending on the day.
And most feel guilty for not being as joyful as they “should” be.
Read/
When the Holidays Hurt: Why This Season Feels Heavy
The world turns up the volume on joy during the holidays.
Everywhere you look, you see images of families laughing, friends gathered around tables, couples kissing under lights.
And even if you logically know it’s curated and exaggerated, part of you still wonders:
Why don’t I feel like that?Shouldn’t I be happier?
Is something wrong with me?
This emotional mismatch — wanting to feel okay, but not actually feeling okay — creates a kind of internal tension that makes everything heavier.
Holiday loneliness isn’t just about being physically alone.
Sometimes you’re surrounded by people and still feel completely disconnected.
There’s the loneliness of spending holidays without a partner, eating meals by yourself while the world posts group pictures, or be sorrounded by family but feeling like you don’t have one person you can be emotionally honest with. Maybe watching others reunite with families while your relationships feel complicated or distant, even people who love their families can feel exhausted by old roles and expectations, unspoken tension , being the “strong one” or the mediator.
This type of loneliness hits harder in December because everything around you reinforces connection — and reminds you of what you don’t have right now.
Another layer people don’t talk about much:
grief.
Not always the loud kind.
Sometimes it’s quiet and private — a feeling in your chest that shows up without asking permission.
Holiday grief can come from missing someone you loved, a breakup that still hurts, a friendship that faded, changes in your life you didn’t choose, the version of you who existed last year but doesn’t anymore.
The holidays highlight the contrast between what you wish life looked like and what it actually is right now.
Talking doesn’t magically fix things, but it does lighten the emotional load.
When you speak your truth out loud it stops swirling around inside you, it becomes clearer and it becomes smaller.
Being heard, understood, and seen without judgment gives your nervous system a place to land.
It gives your mind space to organize itself.
It breaks the holiday isolation, whether your struggle is loneliness, overwhelm, grief, or all of the above.
If the holidays feel heavy for you, it doesn’t mean you’re failing at life.
It means you’re experiencing a very normal emotional response to a very emotionally charged time of year.
You deserve a space where you can say how you really feel without worrying about disappointing anyone or putting on a performance.
You deserve support, especially now.
And you’re allowed to take this season at your own pace.